Anxiety and Failing at Religion

Sometimes, during my more melancholy moments, I feel like I “failed at religion,” much in the same way I failed at basketball when I was in seventh grade. My inability to continue in religion certainly wasn’t from lack of trying; I went to the most “traditional” parish in the archdiocese (at least until I got blackballed), prayed the rosary every day, did Louis de Monfort’s “Consecration to Jesus through Mary,” read about theology, liturgy, apologetic, and the saints, etc. But in the end, it still wasn’t enough, because nothing I did could resolve the doubts I had accumulated. I had hoped that “finding religion” would help solve some of my existential crises, as well as my ever-present anxiety and depression, but I soon discovered that adding theology to the mix not only gave me new things to be anxious/depressed about.

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Sex Cauldron (Wasn’t That Place Shut Down?) or Thoughts About Medieval Prostitution

Conservotrad Catholics have a deep love of the Middle Ages, not only because it was an era when the Catholic church wielded religious and temporal power, but because it . Thinkers like G.K. Chesterton and Hilarie Belloc tried to find ways to infuse the modern world with a medieval sensibility, particularly in the form of distributism. While distributism never caught on as a legitimate challenger to “the servile state,” it still has passionate devotees among conservotrad Catholics who dislike what they perceive to be the corrosive effects of modern capitalism and socialism. There is also an implicit assumption in distributist literature that a distributist society will be a well-ordered society because everyone has a “place,” as was the case during the medieval period. The question I have is whether a society run on distributist lines would have a prostitutes’ guild.

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Family-ism, the Heresy of Our Age

Assuming that Christianity is still a relevant force several centuries into the future, I believe that future theologians will look at our generation’s obsession with “family values” in the same way that the Manichieans or Catharism are regarded today, namely as a set of extreme and dangerous views that condemned normal life in the physical universe. I say this because the current Catholic church’s obsession with heterosexual marriage, rigid gender roles, extreme pro-natalism, and over-romantization of childbirth and parenthood would have been very foreign to previous iterations of the institution.

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